Today was sitting on the couch. I had just finished reading my scriptures and I was happy as could be. Then of course, a panic attack came, there at random to jumble my thoughts and make me short of breath. I turned on Godspeed, kind of a desperate attempt to calm my body and mind. When I listen to this song, and sing along, I can feel you. And I can imagine you, little and sleepy from the day. Mommy, that's me, is singing you a lullaby and sending her love to you on wings after your prayers. You lay there and listen and drift off to sleep. I am immediately calm. The panic is gone. I am just full of love for you. My little boy has saved me.
I cannot wait to meet you. All my little boys, this is all of you. You are in my heart already and I can see you in my imagination. I can see you playing with your daddy. I can see you running around the back yard smiling and playing with your sisters. I can see you building with your blocks and Legos. You fill my heart with such joy. I love you. I will always love you no matter what. You are mine, given to me in trust by Heavenly Father who also loves you. Guess you are just loved by everyone. You are going to be amazing men. I am going to teach you everything I know and everything I learn. I promise to be there for you and to hug you when you need it. I promise you will never for a moment wonder if you are loved. I promise that you will fall asleep to a lullaby and wake up to breakfast. I will never leave you. You will always have me and your father. And you will ALWAYS have your Heavenly Father.
Just wanted to write to you and say hello. :) I love you.
Mom
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