EVOO and Red Bells.

   Olive Oil. It has many healing properties, and it can also soften your skin so it feels like a baby's clean bottom. But most people just use in their cooking. Now I know my picture says "Premium California". I want to get one thing straight, this is just the one I bought at Costco because it was the only one in a glass bottle. I collect those, for those of you don't know. This one was very pretty. And I don't have very many olive oil bottles at present. It was also only $6, which certainly didn't hurt. Buy Olive Oil in bulk. Always. That's tip number one. Next, notice the Extra Virgin part. This is my personal favorite as a general oil, but there are SO MANY different types of Olive Oil that it's hard to choose just one.

   Moving on, I want to show you a recipe that uses a lot of Olive Oil. Well, more than normal. You see, a little goes a long way when it comes to this wonderful substance. What I am going to show you is my way of making a nice jar of Oven Roasted Red Bell Peppers. Delicious in pastas, a lot of different salads, basically anything your imagination can use them for. And if there is one thing I recommend in the kitchen, it's creativity.

Note: These need to be used the same day. I am using these in dinner tonight.

   You start with two beautiful Red Bell Peppers. Mine are about average sized, although any size will work. You just have to picture how much you want to roast. You can get a beautiful package of them at, where else, Costco. I love their produce. They take care of it, and produce needs a lot of care.

 
   The lighting in my kitchen isn't very good for photos, but I assure it is decent for everything else. Decent...

   Quarter and clean your bells. Some of mine were a tad smaller, I learned that it is easier to peel the skins off later if you just quarter it. I have two knives in this shot. The one that is hiding is my boning knife. Why do I use it on my bells you ask? Well, the blade is perfect for getting the stem off without wasting a bit of the delicious bell. AND, it is perfect for cleaning the fleshy yellowish white parts on the inside of the bell. The other knife is my favorite. My chef's knife. I use it for everything else. Now, I will save knife safety and performance for another day, that will fill a whole blog on it's own.
   Preheat your oven to 400 F. Please. Make sure that your top rack is placed on the top most slot.

      Here is what your pieces should look like when they are cleaned. NO SEEDS. That's important.  I want to insert here that I do not use tin foil because I have magic pans that never stick. Wedding gifts from my Grandma Margaret. THANK YOU!!! If you do not have pans infused with magical properties, please use tin foil to line your pan.

   Now I like to quarter an onion and separate it out onto the board. I have one slice of bell turned over above to show how I try and get a slice of onion under each big bell piece. If you have smaller pieces try your best to get onions around them. This will add a better flavor and aroma, and they just smell so darn good when they're in the oven. =) Note: You may also add garlic at this step, but I like to add it later on.

  Drizzle you Olive Oil over the veggies. Use your hands to rub oil on EACH piece. You don't need much. Just barely coat them. Put them into your preheated oven on that top rack that we put in the topmost slot. You did that right? If you didn't, do it now. Be careful, it's hot. Set a timer for 20 minutes and watch some Food Channel. Favorite channel, obviously. I watched Good Eats. So full of whys and hows that even my husband loves it. Anyways... Mine needed about 10 or 15 more minutes after that, but all ovens are different so check at 20 and then check every 5-10 minutes later until the skins are turning black in spots, and have a filmy look to them, and the peppers 'collapse' under a fork. Use common sense, don't burn them.

   Here is where I was in a hurry and didn't take a picture of the done veggies in the pan. You don't need it though. Just follow the above directions. When they are done use your fingers, again, to peel off the skins of your bells. If they do not come off easily, you didn't bake them long enough.

   Put them into a jar, along with the onions. I reuse my jelly jars so I didn't have to buy extra. It doesn't have to be air tight because you have to use these the same day, like I said in the beginning.  Here is where I add my garlic. Because I do this at about 11am, they sit and even more flavor is brought out. Here is how to add:

   Take your chef's knife and crush it by hitting the blade with the heel of your hand. Sometimes this is scary for people who have never done it. In that case, use something else but crush the same way. It won't actually crush it, but the magic makes the 'skin' come off very easily. Everything I can't explain is Magic.
See the big guy there with brown area on his, um, bottom? Cut that off. I also like to cut the ti-pity tip of the garlic, I'm not sure why. Then slice in half. If it is a mega-garlic clove then quarter it. Le big guy above? He was a Mega-Clove.

   Add to your jar, stir it around with a fork. Eye about 2 tablespoons more olive oil to it. Stir it about. (My chef's knife is done, he just wanted to be in the shot.) =) Put your lid on, and refrigerate until you are about to start dinner. Enjoy immensely. If you have any suggestions or did it a different way, feel free to leave comments below. =) Share me with friends. My chef's knife likes the spotlight. ;D

That Moment

Some may know, some may not. I don't like to talk about it. But since February I have been dealing with this illness. You know those trials that, well, can only be explained in all caps? TRIALS. That's what this has been. But that's not what I'm on here to type about. I'm here to tell the world of the happiness of That Moment. Imagine walking through a tunnel, and not just walking through a tunnel, a Serious Tunnel. You are in this tunnel for so long that you start to wonder what sunlight is like. Not to be over-dramatic, but this IS an analogy right? Right. So no sunlight, it's been so long that you are on the verge of forgetting it completely. Then that moment, when the darkness is about take over, you are about to lose all hope. And then the light, suddenly, tiny there in the distance. And you realize that you are going to get out. That was the moment. The blood tests came back, the doctor read them, and I have a Hyper-Thyroid. It explains everything. Every last symptom. The light at the end of tunnel. The happiness. I can be fixed. I am not broken. Well, I am right now, but it is not unfixable. Yay! That was a really long explanation, but really truly the only one that could have explained it. That Moment.

We only have the Lord to thank of course. He invented it. <3

Yoga. It's kinda cool.

Ok, so with the shape of my body comes a lot of aches and pains. Especially my back, for obvious reasons. Yesterday when I was going through Pinterest I found some yoga poses that are supposed to help decompress and strengthen the spine. "Sweet!" This morning I tried it, and by some miracle my back feels amazing. The stiffness is gone, the pain is gone. It's a Christmas miracle guys. So here is that pose I did for those of you who are curious now. Hold for 6 breaths, Enjoy. =)

1. Setu Bandha Sarvangasana (Bridge Pose)

• Begin by lying on your back with your knees bent and feet in line with the hips. 
• Make sure the toes point straight ahead and that the knees are directly above the ankles when you lift your buttocks.
• Roll the shoulders under and clasp the hands or hold a strap. Internally rotate the thighs so that the knees stay in line with the hips. 
• Press the outer shoulders and forearms into the ground to open the chest.
• Press the feet into the ground to lift the hips up.
• Relax the buttock muscles and use the thigh muscles (quads) to lift more.
• Press all four corners of the feet firmly into the ground and lift the outer hips up.

Rainbow Cake and Diet Musings 2.0

   So I threw out the 3 day diet. Not because it doesn't work, but because I ended up pigging out on the off days. So instead of trying a different diet that is general and just includes starving myself, I am going to make a custom diet for ME. Happy? Yeah.

   I am going to use science to form this diet. It will include Super foods like avocado and asparagus and other things that don't also start with A. They will boost my metabolism. I will create my own meal plan and exercise routine, powered by Pinterest. yoga, ab workouts, and I might even add in some running using a beginner's method I found on..... duh du dA: Pinterest! I will also include a Food Journal. In this journal I will write down what I eat, when I eat it, and how many calories are in it. And my weight every Sunday. This is more for my own benefit, a way to hold myself accountable, but also to keep track of what methods and meals work the best for me. This diet can be ever changing. It will allow for my creativity to flow in my cooking as well so I am not starved for herbs and spices. Those really do not effect much guys, and so we can wield a magic wand of flavor and make even healthy food taste delicious. Not that it doesn't taste delicious anyway. Well, tofu is gross, but there are ways around that. Which doesn't actually matter because I do NOT eat tofu. Ew....

   So with the power of choice back in my hands, how will I do? Very well! I won't feel forced, I won't actually count calories in any crazy way because believe it or not, scientifically, as long as you are eating well normally, a slice of that delicious Rainbow Cake doesn't matter. Ever calorie DOES NOT COUNT. I found an amazing website with a huge wealth of information that I will share with you. Have you heard of PopSugar? No? Yes? What about FitSugar? That's the one! Whether you have heard of it or not, check it out! Here is a link to one of my favorite articles. http://www.fitsugar.com/Calories-Burned-5-Minutes-Exercise-19008849 It will tell you what that extra 5 minutes in your workout can mean. Information is power!

   Basically the moral here is that the power is in OUR hands. Our opinion of OURSELVES is in OUR HEADS. God gave us the gift of choice, so USE IT! I am starting to, and it feels pretty darn good. There is enough in my life that I have no control over, my body, my weight, my self-esteem, they are not on that list.

   One more thing, a little piece of inspiration for you, and for me. God loves you. He knows you. He counts the breaths you take, and every heartbeat. He knows what color your eyes are, and he knows the dreams behind them. He will get you there if you let Him. The world can be a very frightening place. You never know what it is going to throw at you next, when the next time your car will break down, or if tomorrow you will be too sick to get out of bed and if that will become what you expect every time you wake up. Sickness, Poverty, the Death of someone you love. Enjoy today, enjoy each choice you make, and enjoy every breath you take. No I didn't mean for that to rhyme. Happy coincidence I guess. =) But seriously, ENJOY LIFE. ENJOY HEALTH. Do it. Or when I die I will haunt you. Yeah.

   And for those of you who don't know yet, we are NOT moving in December anymore. Jacob got a promotion so we are now aiming to move in Mid-March. Just in time to be sealed in the Kansas City, MO Temple. Life! Love it!

Count The Happy Things

     Ok, so weighing myself after the diet didn't work out, well, because I don't own a scale. Slight overlook on my part. I'll need to go buy one of those. Check back in next week and we will see how much I lose. Here though, was my last supper. Tasty? Slightly, nothing magical.

     Something else today caught my attention. I remembered someone I used to know that every time she would feel down, or in a bad mood, she would count the happy things. I haven't done this in a long time. I don't know why, the positive girl that used to think of every single breath as a miracle doesn't come around anymore. Today I was in a bad mood. So many things seem to be against me today and I was sad and moody. So Jacob sat me down and said this, "I want you to make a list of all the things that make you happy and you are not aloud to stop until you FEEL HAPPY." And then he went to cut his hair with the trimmer that fixed the wiring on all by himself today. He also got a promotion at work. My husband is awesome. So because I have an awesome husband, and he knows me so very well, here I go. A list of Happy Things, in order of thoughts flying into my head.

Happy Things

Jacob
Baby Stuff (For future notes)
Babies in general.
Money
Having a laptop named Esmeralda.
Allergy Medicine
Presents
Shoes
Pinterest
Psych
Charmed
The Rainbow Cake I am going to make tomorrow. Blog to come.
The Onion soup I made for dinner with broccoli, rice, tuna(Jacob's idea, turned out well), low-fat sour cream, all in a bread bowl. Took a picture to place at the bottom of today's blog.
Bacon
Mary Kay
Helping People
People in General
The book called What Einstein Told His Cook.
The mall
Shoes
ShoeDazzle
Your Next Shoes Blog
Music
Driving with the music playing very very loudly. (You would think this would distract me. It actually helps me concentrate.)
Crockpots
Rice Cookers
The Food Channel
Really muscular male movie stars.
Duct Tape
Books
Shakespeare
The pencil or pen he used to write his masterpieces.
Pedicures
Maincures
In fact, they are best done as a Mani-Pedi.
Quilts
Grandparents
Really nice kitchen supplies, Kitchen Aid Mixers for instance.
Did I mention shoes?
Cute Dresses
The really cute styles on pinterest.
Really nice Hotels.
Spas
Losing weight.
Fitting into a size 6 skirt one day. =)
Fantasizing about traveling the world with my husband, and Colby and her husband.
Dreaming about the future.
Designing my future house on Pinterest.
Getting amazing tips, crafts, and recipes off of pinterest.
Looking at shoes.
Wearing shoes.
Touching shoes.
NOT smelling shoes....
My husband's promotion.
How hard my husband works to provide for us.
How good my husband is with numbers.
How wonderfully my husband walks.
The way my husband talks.
The way that rhymed just now. 
The way I did not rhyme that on purpose.
How my husband can cut his own hair, and fix his trimmer wiring after it explodes in our living room.
How patient my husband is when it comes to housework. One day I will get this whole keeping the whole house clean all at the same time thing down.
The thought that one day I will have a perfectly clean house ALL THE TIME! Wha?!?!?!
Reading my patriarchal blessing. 
Knowing that my Heavenly Father is always there for me.
Feeling the presence of the spirit. (Wondering if I am supposed to capitalize Spirit....)
Spirit.....spirit....hmmmmm.....
The scriptures, and the way they can comfort and heal.
The Gift of Discernment.
Those prayers where I literally can't explain them without putting it in the form of a conversation. (I said, "This." God said, "That.")
The fact that God chastises us so that we may make our weakness strengths.
Avocados.
Lorilie. (Pronounced Laura-Lie.)
Knowing that one day soon I will be sealed to my favorite husband and raising a brand new family that didn't exist before. To be able to nurture the greatest creations I will ever witness. Better than the I-phone 5. My kids will be AWESOME!
Being terrified to have such huge responsibility on my shoulders. (I saw a quote today that said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide FOREVER to have your heart go walking around outside your body.")


I am officially in a much better mood. To be specific, thinking about the Lord and my future children makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

 Here is that Onion soup I made for dinner. =)

One more thing. I mentioned that Jacob got a promotion? Yes, that promotion is here. In Provo. So we will be staying a bit longer. we will wait until mid-March. We are still visiting MO and KS in December though. =) Yay!!! I LOVE Christmas. Can't wait to make Christmas Food!!!!! Kinda like the ones pictured below. ;)

Snow Cocoa

 This Roll Thing.

Oreo Coal, For the 'bad' kids. ;D

  

3 Day Diet: Dia Dos

     Here what I ate for dinner tonight. Once again, I did not want a grocery list so combined them with salt and pepper and steamed them. I infused the water I used to steam them with about 2 tbsp Italian Seasoning. This improved the taste immensely, and was only a slight cheat on the diet. Actually, it probably would not even count as cheating. I think. Here is what I ate today:

     Breakfast: 1 slice of toast with half a banana sliced over it and salt sprinkled on top. Salty sweetness is awesome. And 1 hard boiled egg.
     Lunch: 1 cup of cottage cheese, salt and peppered. And 5 Saltine Crackers. Someone please kill me.
     Dinner: This creation pictured above. Chopped: 1 hot dog, 1 cup brocoli, 1 cup carrots. Steamed. Salt and Pepper.

     Ok, I started drinking water like crazy today, and I walked around the mall applying for jobs. I only spent  99 cents while I was there. Be proud of me, be very proud. It took every ounce of will power not to buy every pair of shoes I saw, and that REALLY cute jacket at Buckle.
    Anyways, I still got to have my 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream for dessert, along with the other half of that banana I had at breakfast. It was a good dessert, except 20 minutes later I was craving a hot dog. A nice hot dog on a bun with ketchup and mustard. Better yet, a J-Dog. With that special sauce they make that makes the mouth water.
     Now, I am going to go to sleep, and dream of food. Namely the wonderful meals I am already planning for my 4 days off of this diet. A hint? It includes homemade corn dogs, rainbow cake, soup bowls, and magic.

3 Day Diet: Dia Uno

It's nearing the end of day one, and this is my dinner. It's pretty good actually, but I'll get to that later. First, why I am starving.

   Breakfast: Half a cup of fresh squeezed orange juice, 1 slice of toast with 1 teaspoon of peanut butter spread on it. This was an ok breakfast to be honest, I sprinkled salt on my peanut butter toast and it was quite tasty.
    Lunch: 1/2 cup of plain tuna, salt and pepper added, on a slice of toast. As far as lunches go, this sucks. So by 5:00, I was starving.
    Dinner: 2 slices of turkey, 1 cup of french style green beans, 1 cup of carrots, 1 small apple.

Now, I love to cook. When I eat, I need it to consist of at least a little bit of my touch, a little bit of creativity. I was craving cooking more than I was craving eating all day. So by dinner time I was not about to take this bit random list of small portioned food and eat it all like a grocery list. So I created this warm salad. The whole cup of green beans, both slices of turkey chopped, 6 of my baby carrots chopped, 1/4 of my apple cubed beautifully, and of course, the only seasonings allowed in this diet, salt and pepper. Tossed and microwaved for 1 minute. I wasted nothing though. What I did not put in the salad I ate on it's own. Now mt tummy is happy, and this salad was bomb. For a diet salad anyway..... I would never eat this a normal basis without adding a lemon vinaigrette and of course some spinach leaves. Maybe toss some sauteed onions in too. Basically, it needs some work, but it quenched my craving for creative cooking. And for dessert? 1/2 cup of vanilla ice cream. =)

 

3 Day Diet

     Growing up, my mom was always on some kind of diet. I remember her always talking about losing weight and how wonderful this or that diet was. Well, this time I am paying attention. When I got engaged, I gained weight. My fiance had a car, he drove me everywhere, I didn't have to walk or ride my bike unless he was at work. Then I got married. Wow. Now I drive myself everywhere. I cook ALL the time. I stopped watching what I ate until about a month ago. Then I started noticing that my pants were really tight. "Oh no!!!" I started really watching what I was eating, but losing weight is pretty darn hard. BUT, combine this with a diet my mom told me about that is three days of strict meals, then 4 days of normal common sense healthy eating, then 3 days of strict diet, and so on until your goal is reached. Then you just keep eating smart, regular exercise and so on, to keep the weight off.  Now normally I would be all, "Whatever, that sounds stupid, it won't work." But my mom told me she ALWAYS loses 10 pounds for every 3 days she does it. ALWAYS.  So I am going to give it a try. I think I'll start on Monday, because then I can do it every Monday-Wednesday, then break from Thursday-Sunday. 

    To reach my goal I need to do this very strictly 4 or 5 times. If my Mom's results prove true, this is going to be an amazing month for me!!!! Now, I am going to put the link on here just in case someone wants to look at it, but with a warning: Do not do this if you are pregnant or nursing! AND it says on some of the meals to have 1cup of coffee or tea. Obviously, I don't drink coffee, and I'm not a fan of tea either. SO I replace this with water. Water is something you can drink as much of as you want. So I am subtracting even more calories than they do. Win-Win!  http://3daydiets.net/index.php (Do not click on the PDF Download thingy on the side. That's an add. If you want to download it, click on the red tab towards the top that says Download.)

     I am really looking forward to this, so I PRAY it works. If it does, I will be the smallest I have been since... a long time? So, to hold myself accountable, in comes the blog. I have to post my beginning weight (AAAHHHH!!!!!) and then post how much I lose at the end of every 3 day diet. Then, at the end, a picture of my results. Now, I hate telling people my weight. So I that gives me the motivation to REALLY DO THIS. Because I don't want to get on here at the end of all of this and say, "Well, I suck at sticking to diets, I lost no weight." Because then you all know my weight. I am not proud of this weight. So here goes everything, here is my current weight: 165lb.

      I hate looking at that number. Never in the history of my life have I weighed this much. I actually was slightly anorexic when I was a sophomore in high school. If my weight ever seemed too much, I wouldn't eat until it went down to something acceptable. This probably messed with my metabolism a bit right?  Right. So here I am, trying a bit desperately not to starve myself to lose weight. So in a way, this diet is a form a self preservation. I will do this in a healthy way. I WILL reach my goal. See that positive attitude guys and gals? Sweet.

     In other news, Jacob and I are officially moving to Springfield, MO in December. Yay!!!

Musical Clothes

As of... 4 days ago, I am 21 years old. It's funny how this is supposed to be some big milestone but I don't feel any different. I didn't expect to though. 

We went to Elko to for the whole weekend to visit my Mom and family there. Kyhana and Krystal invited some friends for their birthday party, and I cried a little when Kyhana's friends didn't show. Kurtis got this gigantic pink donkey pinata that wouldn't die. Oh and the cake? The girls chose Twilight. Grandma got to eat Kristin Stuart's face. -_- But it was a lot of fun, and the cake did have a big '21' candle along with the other candles for the girls, and it tasted pretty darn good. My mom did a game that she used to do at my parties when I was little. It's called 'Musical Clothes". You get a big black garbage bag and put a bunch of random clothes in it, a couple shoes, some hats, maybe a purse. Since they are so little and the clothes are adult clothes, it looks really silly. So what you do is have them sit in a circle and the bag starts with whoever's birthday it is. In this case it was Kyhana. Then you start the music and they pass it around the circle. When you stop the music the person it lands on has to put on what they draw out WITHOUT LOOKING, and so on. They come out with the silliest outfits!! I have some pictures that I will post on Facebook, Big Billy and Little Billy are by far the funniest ones, and Little Billy won for silliest outfit. We did other games too, but that one was always my favorite growing up. 

Now for the part that I have always loved, presents! Kyhana and Krystal got this huge nice karaoke machine that has a built in I-pod dock and big speakers. They had so much fun playing with it! They also got a bunch of Monster High Dolls, yes, I said Monster High. A T.V show for kids with teen monsters. And there are little dolls to dress up and play with too. I have even seen these girl do their make-up to look like the zombie girl  on the show. It wasn't as scary as you would think. I, on the other hand, did not want a Monster High doll. I got a blender, a food processor, and a hand mixer from Mom and Kurtis. All in red of course because my mom chose them. I love them. Hope got me this cool Nailene electric mani pedi set. Aunt Chelo bought me shoes. And a gift card from Joyce & Bill. But the best gift was going to see my Aunt Lucy. Not literally of course, but her grave. We just sat and remembered her. All the things that she was there for and helped with.  My earliest memory has her in it. My Aunts have always been very close to us, but Aunt Lucy was the closest. She did my hair for my first day of 3rd grade. She was our safe haven when our parents were fighting. She and Uncle Hector started to teach Billy how to drive. They would take us swimming, they would turn escaping from all the problems at home into a sleepover party at her house. Then those last few years when she was having all of her own issues, and going through MS at the same time, we didn't talk. I still kick myself for that. When she died I hadn't talked to her in about 3 years. I didn't cry at first, but when it hit me I couldn't stop. I couldn't go to her funeral, but I got there the next day fresh off the plane from Kansas. I still cry sometimes. I miss her. While I was with my Aunt Chelo she said she doesn't know how people live without faith. Life would just be too hard without knowing that our loved ones are with a loving God. I agree. I don't think I would be able to handle Lucy's death without the knowledge that I have of the gospel and the Plan of Happiness. I am so thankful that I have that in my life to bring me peace. Without it, there would never be peace in my life. I'm not sure I would know what peace even meant, and knowing that makes me cherish it all the more. 

All in all, a good birthday. A wonderful birthday. A birthday I got to spend with loved ones, and happiness, and most of all, peace.  

My Soul Hungers

It has been over a year since I was last in the temple. That statement is one that can either sadden me and make me want to give up, or it can make me go to my calendar and cross off every day that brings me closer to that wonderful and holy place.

I was reading in Alma today. The very first war recorded in Alma is won by the Nephites. It is recorded that as Alma battled Amlici he prayed to the Lord to bring him strength. And I realized, not for the first time, that whether it is for your life or for your soul, perhaps especially for one's soul, the Lord will bring strength if we ask for it. He will pour it onto us in waterfall mode and give us a good pep talk while He's at it. And I don't know about you, but that's the best unbirthday gift I never really think to ask for.

The temple. I would live there, were it possible. When you think about it, I seriously want to inherit what He has because He has a TON of castles.

Sabbath Dawn

So you know those wonderful things called blessings? When a worthy priesthood holder lays his hands on your head and gives a blessing from the Lord. Well, my whole life I have felt like they are just a little out of my reach. Sure when I get especially sick I call my home teachers to come and give me a blessing. But I'm out of it and feeling like crud and The wonder of it doesn't hit me until my mind clears and then I am able to thank my Heavenly Father for healing me. It's a wonderful thing, but it's not the same as a Father's Blessing. I received one of those from my Father-In-Law today. He had just given Jacob a blessing and I was already sort of crying because the spirit was strong and I love being present for blessings. Here is what happened, Scott asked if I wanted to be next. I was taken aback but I said yes, I sat in the chair, he gave me a wonderful blessing, and I really started to cry. When it was over he saw how I was reacting and he very caringly asked if I had ever had a Father's blessing before. And I honestly don't remember. I don't remember a single time my own father has given me a blessing. I remember once he prayed with me and asked Heavenly Father to bring me blessings, but he didn't have the authority to actually do the blessing himself. When I went to say this all I could do was shake my head because I could not speak. I started to sob. I have been trying to figure out why I reacted that way. And what it comes down to is the Spirit. Being able to feel Heavenly Father's love in such a powerful and strong way, and being to have a Father's blessing, and thinking about how my children will not grow up the way I did. They will not feel like receiving a blessing is few and impossible to receive. They will be able to have a blessing for a test, for a headache, for soccer game, for anything they want. And I just couldn't stop crying. Jacob held me and then when I finally stopped I was just happy. So very happy. And I feel like I can take on the world. So that's it, that's what that feels like. I could get used to this. :,,)

Monsters

I saw a quote on Pinterest once that said some thing like, " As soon as it's dark your brain goes, 'Oh hey, monsters, we haven't thought about those in a while.'" last night when I woke up to use the bathroom at about 2 am, that would be what my brain did. So when I went back to bed beside my sleeping husband, I was awake. Very awake, and I didn't fall asleep for about half an hour. Then this morning at 8 am my brother wakes me up to tell me I need to drive him to Lindon for a job interview in an hour. I sleep for another 30 minutes, get up, throw on the first clothes I see, didn't even look in the mirror because I was to scared.
While I was waiting for Billy, for almost 2 hours, I had a thought that I had to share. "No matter how far a woman is from her feminine side, once a month we all listen to Katy Perry and stuff our faces with chocolate." So then I did just that. :p But I also did some reading and it hit me very strongly, not for the first time in my life, how important it is to teach our children to pray, and to pray ourselves, just as if Heavenly Father were in the room with us. And in a way, He really is.

Thoughts about doors.

Right I'm thinking about doors. Well, that's getting ahead of myself a little bit. It started with taking Billy to the office in Orem to get his new state ID. He made the same mistake I made two years when I was doing exactly the same thing. He only brought one piece of mail when they need two. So we went back to the house, he grabbed another one, we came back. So I'm waiting in the car thinking about how time just flies past before you can supercalagrajalisticexpialadotious. Then this song by the Dixie Chicks comes on called Top of the World. It's a sad song, and very deep and such and here I am already thinking about time and it's effects on us as simple human beings. One line stood out and got me thinking about doors. "I think I broke the wings off a little song bird, she's never gonna fly to the the top of the world right now." And my first thought is a little girl I know who hugged me as tight as she could as soon as she met me. I knew her aunt you see, so I was no stranger, and so that made me an automatic best friend. She picked me flowers, about 7 of them one right after the other as I talked with her aunt. Now the happiness of the story ends there. This girl's father walked out on her and her brothers. He decided he wanted to sleep with other people while his wife was pregnant with their third child. And I think of that mother, a friend of mine now, and I think he just clipped all their wings, and he didn't even think twice. But this woman has decided she is going to fly anyway. She moved her kids, and that little girl's spirit remains uncrushed. She hugs her friends, she dances and spins and smiles and plays and runs. She runs. And I am amazed by this little girl. Despite everything I know she and her mother and her brothers will make it. I get a little tear in my eye and I just marvel at how Heavenly Father can deal with all of us and our problems. Just for that you know He is all powerful. He has to be. With so much heartbreak in the world, so much suffering, so many doors for people to walk through and never look back, if there wasn't a plan to all of it then I would never get through it.
There is another line in the song that I love, because it signifies what I want to do in my life, and everything I that strive to be. "Wanna grab ahold of that little songbird, take her for a ride to the top of the world right now."

Little Feet

So yesterday was my mom's big 40. I want to say she is officially old but she still looks between 30 and 35. So the old joke will have to wait. She and Kurtis and the babies were visiting Provo today and we got visit with them for a bit. I was going to make cookies but when faced with dishes Jacob decided he would like to try his hand in baking. I have to give my husband credit because the cookies are delicious. Win. And I did get the dishes done before my mom arrived. Double win.
My little sisters are the cutest too! They make me want a baby, but not just yet. :p Gracie has the CUTEST little feet. :).

Yogurt

We are now home from the busiest weekend we have had in quite the while, but also the most fun. :)
We went to Kansas and Missouri to see family and have our second reception/open house. An almost 30 hour drive there and an over 30 hour drive back. Yay! :p
I got to introduce my new husband to my ex-boyfriend and still friend Felix, from Germany. Awkward, but good to see him. We had a double date with Colby and Seth. We went to the arboretum in Parsons and had a picnic. Colby and Seth are definitely getting married in the future. They are perfect. We had Taco Pizza from Casey's. Can't get anything better anywhere else. Speaking of foods you can't get anywhere else, Kansas is the only state I have found so far that sells NOT spicy McChickens at McDonalds. These supposedly spicy McChickens are not Spicy at all. They just taste weird and I don't appreciate it. But the normal ones, those are worth a 30 hour drive to get. :) Our reception was a success. There were more toddlers that adults and it just made dancing even more fun. Zoey and Benny met and were immediately friends. Zoey gave him hugs and Benny gave her the flirty eyes. We'll have to watch them when they get older. ;) Almost all my friends from High School were there too. The table was our lunch table all over again. It felt very weird in a good way. I love my friends. Wendy made us a card and painted our wedding picture that we have on Facebook on the front of it. It is amazing. My favorite gifts though this time, I must say, were the quilt Jacob's grandma made, and the cross stitch framed poster-like thing that his mom Jessica made for us. The frame she and her husband chose for it matches the wood accents in our living room perfect. And she worked on it for months. Those gifts had a lot of time and love put into them and have become some of my most cherished possessions. We loved all of the gifts though, they are all fabulous, and we got a ton of money too. But seeing everyone and getting to visit with them and see how they have changed and what they are doing was the best part of the trip. I also got to meet Heather, the only one of Jacob's sisters I hadn't met. She is so great, I love her. And her daughter, Onyx Rain (Had to put the middle name in there) is just the cutest. Before I had even met her mother she came up and have me a hug. :) Then Jordyn had to go to the hospital because she thought her appendix had burst, but it didn't turn out to be that, or anything serious for that matter. Just painful and she was tired.
Then there was Billy's graduation. I was 100% sure I would cry. But I didn't. Billy did a sit a sit and spin with a wave on stage when he got his diploma.y brother is my hero, and now he has graduated High School and he's starting his own life. He's a grown man. And now I think I will cry... He is going to accomplish so many things that I could never of dreamed of doing. He'll finish college in no time, he'll go on a mission in between there, he'll get back and meet the girl of his dreams and take her to temple without even a worry about not being worthy. I can see a lot of days that I'm going to cry in my future. Billy really is one of my heroes, and he will never be able to get rid of that status. :)
In other news, on the way back from our trip the yogurt exploded in the cooler. The big one too. :( and so did my conditioner. And at one point my shampoo was leaking. And my minty leave in conditioner. Fun trip. :)

Dear little boy,

Today was sitting on the couch. I had just finished reading my scriptures and I was happy as could be. Then of course, a panic attack came, there at random to jumble my thoughts and make me short of breath. I turned on Godspeed, kind of a desperate attempt to calm my body and mind. When I listen to this song, and sing along, I can feel you. And I can imagine you, little and sleepy from the day. Mommy, that's me, is singing you a lullaby and sending her love to you on wings after your prayers. You lay there and listen and drift off to sleep. I am immediately calm. The panic is gone. I am just full of love for you. My little boy has saved me.

I cannot wait to meet you. All my little boys, this is all of you. You are in my heart already and I can see you in my imagination. I can see you playing with your daddy. I can see you running around the back yard smiling and playing with your sisters. I can see you building with your blocks and Legos. You fill my heart with such joy. I love you. I will always love you no matter what. You are mine, given to me in trust by Heavenly Father who also loves you. Guess you are just loved by everyone. You are going to be amazing men. I am going to teach you everything I know and everything I learn. I promise to be there for you and to hug you when you need it. I promise you will never for a moment wonder if you are loved. I promise that you will fall asleep to a lullaby and wake up to breakfast. I will never leave you. You will always have me and your father. And you will ALWAYS have your Heavenly Father.

Just wanted to write to you and say hello. :) I love you.
Mom

Cereal

So sadly I received a rejection email from a job I really wanted today. After a couple weeks of me calling every day and someone telling me the manager is still going over applications, I guess he decided to stop trailing me along and just crush my expectations with an email to the stomach.

This may or may not have hit me pretty hard.

Fortunately though there is a company in Orem that has been calling and sending me emails practically begging me to finish my half done application. They want to set up an interview as soon as I'm done. So here I sit with a sinus infection finishing this up (It's actually a very long application) and eating mass amounts of cereal. Yay for my glorious life!

So last night Jacob made me lay down while he made us dinner. I love my husband. :)

T.V

So, I'm not much of a T.V watcher. It never really bothers me to do other things, in fact normally I feel better if I do. Go outside. Go on a walk. Cook something tasty. Go visit friends. Read a book. Read another book. Read more books. But lately, T.V. Since I have married Jacob Willis I watch more T.V than I have my whole life. Yes, we fit that in 3 weeks. But we laugh. We talk. We spend time together. It's wonderful just being with the man I love. Next week though, I would like to spend some time laying in the grass in our beautiful backyard and name cloud shapes. I think that would be fun.

Building A House.... Someday =)

     So for now my life consists of, looking for a job, housework, watching T.V, looking for a job, waiting for my husband to get home from work, and looking for a job. Really, until I find a job my life kind of has to be on hold because without a job we as a family unit can't progress past what we currently are. And so because looking for a job all day every day is just not possible (because I would go mad, and there just is too many hours in the day to fill with just that, I have tried. I eventually run out of applications and am left with hours of unfilled time in which I do the dishes and watch the food channel. And vacuum. And stuff. Anyways...)So I needed something to get my mind working. Something other than making up awesome recipes that I forget to write down and can't make anyway because I don't have the ingredients nor the money to buy them, which leads back to more job searching with renewed vigor because I want to cook!!

     So last night Jacob got out all these Lego's, that I knew he had but had no idea exactly how MANY he had, and while eating a 5$ Little Caesar's pizza and watching Man on Fire he began to put up the walls of the house he wants to build..... Eventually. So far it is white, yellow, black, blue, red, and green, with black doors, and a green window in the front. I have to say I am quite impressed by this little model. Now it just needs to be separated into rooms. And then built..... somewhere. Who knows?
     The colors will grow on me I guess. ;)