Sabbath Dawn

So you know those wonderful things called blessings? When a worthy priesthood holder lays his hands on your head and gives a blessing from the Lord. Well, my whole life I have felt like they are just a little out of my reach. Sure when I get especially sick I call my home teachers to come and give me a blessing. But I'm out of it and feeling like crud and The wonder of it doesn't hit me until my mind clears and then I am able to thank my Heavenly Father for healing me. It's a wonderful thing, but it's not the same as a Father's Blessing. I received one of those from my Father-In-Law today. He had just given Jacob a blessing and I was already sort of crying because the spirit was strong and I love being present for blessings. Here is what happened, Scott asked if I wanted to be next. I was taken aback but I said yes, I sat in the chair, he gave me a wonderful blessing, and I really started to cry. When it was over he saw how I was reacting and he very caringly asked if I had ever had a Father's blessing before. And I honestly don't remember. I don't remember a single time my own father has given me a blessing. I remember once he prayed with me and asked Heavenly Father to bring me blessings, but he didn't have the authority to actually do the blessing himself. When I went to say this all I could do was shake my head because I could not speak. I started to sob. I have been trying to figure out why I reacted that way. And what it comes down to is the Spirit. Being able to feel Heavenly Father's love in such a powerful and strong way, and being to have a Father's blessing, and thinking about how my children will not grow up the way I did. They will not feel like receiving a blessing is few and impossible to receive. They will be able to have a blessing for a test, for a headache, for soccer game, for anything they want. And I just couldn't stop crying. Jacob held me and then when I finally stopped I was just happy. So very happy. And I feel like I can take on the world. So that's it, that's what that feels like. I could get used to this. :,,)

Monsters

I saw a quote on Pinterest once that said some thing like, " As soon as it's dark your brain goes, 'Oh hey, monsters, we haven't thought about those in a while.'" last night when I woke up to use the bathroom at about 2 am, that would be what my brain did. So when I went back to bed beside my sleeping husband, I was awake. Very awake, and I didn't fall asleep for about half an hour. Then this morning at 8 am my brother wakes me up to tell me I need to drive him to Lindon for a job interview in an hour. I sleep for another 30 minutes, get up, throw on the first clothes I see, didn't even look in the mirror because I was to scared.
While I was waiting for Billy, for almost 2 hours, I had a thought that I had to share. "No matter how far a woman is from her feminine side, once a month we all listen to Katy Perry and stuff our faces with chocolate." So then I did just that. :p But I also did some reading and it hit me very strongly, not for the first time in my life, how important it is to teach our children to pray, and to pray ourselves, just as if Heavenly Father were in the room with us. And in a way, He really is.

Thoughts about doors.

Right I'm thinking about doors. Well, that's getting ahead of myself a little bit. It started with taking Billy to the office in Orem to get his new state ID. He made the same mistake I made two years when I was doing exactly the same thing. He only brought one piece of mail when they need two. So we went back to the house, he grabbed another one, we came back. So I'm waiting in the car thinking about how time just flies past before you can supercalagrajalisticexpialadotious. Then this song by the Dixie Chicks comes on called Top of the World. It's a sad song, and very deep and such and here I am already thinking about time and it's effects on us as simple human beings. One line stood out and got me thinking about doors. "I think I broke the wings off a little song bird, she's never gonna fly to the the top of the world right now." And my first thought is a little girl I know who hugged me as tight as she could as soon as she met me. I knew her aunt you see, so I was no stranger, and so that made me an automatic best friend. She picked me flowers, about 7 of them one right after the other as I talked with her aunt. Now the happiness of the story ends there. This girl's father walked out on her and her brothers. He decided he wanted to sleep with other people while his wife was pregnant with their third child. And I think of that mother, a friend of mine now, and I think he just clipped all their wings, and he didn't even think twice. But this woman has decided she is going to fly anyway. She moved her kids, and that little girl's spirit remains uncrushed. She hugs her friends, she dances and spins and smiles and plays and runs. She runs. And I am amazed by this little girl. Despite everything I know she and her mother and her brothers will make it. I get a little tear in my eye and I just marvel at how Heavenly Father can deal with all of us and our problems. Just for that you know He is all powerful. He has to be. With so much heartbreak in the world, so much suffering, so many doors for people to walk through and never look back, if there wasn't a plan to all of it then I would never get through it.
There is another line in the song that I love, because it signifies what I want to do in my life, and everything I that strive to be. "Wanna grab ahold of that little songbird, take her for a ride to the top of the world right now."